What the hell does a guy have to do to get fired around here?

By Lee Burrell

 

Our dear leader has been re-elected! Well kind of; the Board of Trustees, in their infinite wisdom, has deemed it fitting that President Dawood Farahi should stay here to continue his fine work by extending his contract as president for five more years.

But what did you expect? Change? Leave that to Obama and accept your fate Kean. After allowing the university to slip down the quality slide far enough that Middle-States launched an investigation, a resume scandal and a sizable disprovable from the faculty large enough for the Kean Federation of Teacher to ask him to leave, Dawood Farahi is staying.

These problems come up but our man Dawood beats them down like Rocky. So besides the majority of the professors wanting you to leave and breaking the academic integrity policy of your own school, what the hell does a guy have to do to get fired around here?

After that resume slip up most people in the Kean community thought Dawood was done for, but much like Neo minus the slomo, he dodged that bullet.

Onlinecollege.net lists Dawood’s resume controversy as number one in their 10 Worst Resume Fibs in Academic History list. In all of academic history! Wow this guy is good, so good that after breaking the policy code he just had it changed so it didn’t include him anymore. Check the rule book now and our man is honest as Abe.

At this moment in the article it may seem like I’m picking on Dawood but for some perspective let’s check out other similar cases.

Way back in the stone age of 2001, Notre Dame’s coach resigned (what a guy!)  only five days after he was hired, for lying on his resume, he called the fluffing of his resume “inaccuracies” he forgot to change. Sound familiar?

Much more recently in 2010, Texas A&M University saw the resignation (I’m seeing a trend) of Alexander Kemos the number three administrator after several confirmed misrepresentations were discovered on his resume regarding his academic and military credentials.

Damn it’s good to be the king…

Now I’ve got a word limit on this article that I’m fast approaching so I can’t list all the cases in which University officials were fired or resigned because they lied on their resumes (Yale, MIT and NJCU just to name a few) but just Google  “resume lies in academia” and you’ll find something.

But maybe this is all just a big misunderstanding. Maybe if Farahi receives the $200,000 bonus he’s up for next year, he’ll buy us all a drink and tell us what really happened.


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