How to end and recover from ‘breadcrumbing’ in 3 steps

By Chelsea Lange | Published May 8, 2017

Amanda Matos 27, of Vernon, NJ was in a relationship for three years until she realized something.

“I would sit at home picking myself apart when he was absolutely fine. I would think I was the problem but in reality he was,” said Matos.

She continues by stating, “He would plan a time to meet when it was only convenient to him and would ask to get together without ever following through.”

Matos, since has realized that she had been, breadcrumbed.

Urban Dictionary's definition of breadcrumbing. Credit: UrbanDictionary

Urban Dictionary’s definition of breadcrumbing. Credit: UrbanDictionary

Breadcrumbing gets misconstrued as the dating trend, ghosting. The “Huffington Post” describes ghosting as, “the instance when someone ends the relationship by cutting off all communication, without any explanation.” Although ghosting seems harsh, breadcrumbing is worse.

Young millennials seem to keep on falling down this path of lies, miscommunication and quite frankly, a big waste of time.

Breadcrumbing is when someone doesn’t really care for the person they’ve been dating but, continues to lead them on with random phone calls or text messages whenever they feel like speaking to them.

Some individuals put all their time and energy into a significant other for months or even years just because they believe the relationship could eventually work. Unfortunately, he or she is just NOT that into you.

Credit: Flickr

Credit: Flickr

Ending the Relationship

It could be difficult to realize that you have to end this relationship but you don’t deserve this. In the words of the Backstreet Boys it’s time to tell that person to, “quit playing games with my heart.” Cutting off communication is key, but before that, you need to explain why you are. He or she should know that you’re not “ok” with playing those games.

Dr. Jack Sargent, Executive Director of The School of Communication, gave some words of encouragement by making you undergo realization.

“What rewards are you getting out of this relationship? Think of your own self worth and respect,” he states.

Take his words into consideration, what are you truly getting out of this?

Start your emotional detox right away by telling that person your happiness is your first priority and that you’ll be moving on to the next chapter in your life.

Take Steps Towards A New You

After ending your relationship remember who you are and what you deserve.

Don’t drag yourself down a path that won’t have a happy ending. Start by creating your better self. Matos took a step in the right direction by starting to write her feelings in a journal and doing different activities.

“Get out of your comfort zone and only surround yourself with people that mean most to you,” she states.

Start Dating

Dr. Sargent, also described how dating is ever-changing.

“Dating has significantly changed with the advantage of social media with dating apps or media sites,” said Sargent. “But the desire for human connection will remain the same.”

Being vulnerable and putting yourself out there might be difficult but you will find desire for someone else. Not every guy or girl has the same traits as that breadcrumber. Remember not to hold yourself back from a new dating experience. There’s someone out there who knows your worth and how you should be treated.

Chelsea Lange is a senior majoring in Sociology.

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