Why so cold, Kean Shuttle Bus?

By Joshua Rosario | Published March 1, 2018

What does everyone want to do on a icy cold morning? It would feel if you asked Kean’s Shuttle Bus Service it would be to stand outside till you are an ice sculpture.

I have always wanted to look chiseled, but thanks to the bus I’ve become the iceberg that took down the Titanic. You have waited less at the DMV than you have for one of these campus shuttles.

“It’s very annoying because I have to take the bus almost everyday,” said Sally Arias, Sociology major and student worker. “I got to leave work 30 minutes early so I can be [in class] on time.”

Waiting for a Kean bus is like waiting for Ben Affleck to be less smug, Fox News to give news, or Trump to tweet the n-word; you know it is coming, you just have no idea when it will get here. Games of Throne’s last season will come before a Kean bus.

What about the poor students who only have 15 minutes to get to the other end of campus? Then you get to class late for the one class you don’t want to be late too. It’s always for a professor who has their master’s degree in catty and a doctorate in petty. “Sorry! I only take attendance once!” or “ Maybe next time you’ll get here early.” They act like they don’t understand how these class schedules work. To be on time, we would have better luck getting struck by lightning and becoming The Flash.

“It’s kind of ridiculous. One time, I had to walk all the way to East Campus,” said Alexandra Morales. “ I really want a car, so I don’t have to go through this.”

Yeah! You could walk, but no one really wants to though. You barely want to do so on a good day let alone a day so cold any man will feel like a lady. Seriously, guys! Any colder we are going to feel like Ken dolls out here in this cold.

You come inside after finally being picked up. You’re freezing! The only sensible way to get warm seems to be dousing yourself in kerosene and lighting yourself on fire.

Okay. Maybe! Just maybe! This is just a light overreaction! Just a bit! Let’s not get crazy. Maybe, it is my fault for waiting foolishly like some lovestruck simpleton in a rom-com film waiting to be swept off my feet to the STEM building or East Campus.

Maybe! Ugh! Maybe I should take some personal responsibility and waddle my frozen carcass over to STEM in the first place. How nauseating is this? You get a light exercise. You can take in the fresh air or whatever qualifies as fresh air in New Jersey. You can really take in the beauty of the day. I have already exhausted myself.

Also, Kean bus drivers, for all our sakes stop flirting with the young women who come on the bus. It’s awkward for everyone. You come off as someone’s creepy uncle. Honestly, they’re not interested. They just want to get to class without you drooling over their backpacks. Is that too much to ask for?

Why should they get it so easy? Is it to much to ask for not to be left waiting in the cold for over 20 minutes? You are already internally screaming after fussing your way into a parking lot that functions like a low budget war movie. Majority of the Kean students are commuters, so they are already frustrated from the drive up the parkway dishing out good ole New Jersey salutes along the way. Nobody is asking for much. We just don’t want to be discovered in a block of ice 10,000 years from now still waiting for a Kean bus.

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