Men vs. Flowers
By Tasha Dowbachuk | Published by April 26, 2019
The societal standards of masculinity are being challenged throughout every medium of communication to date. Narratives of the stereotypical “stoic” man are slowly being replaced by the reality of how men think or act outside of what it means to be masculine.
Based on the idea of redefining masculinity, could it be that men receiving tokens of appreciation, such as flowers, undermine the perception of manliness?
According to the American Psychological Association, American society “socializes boys and men to conform to a definition of masculinity that emphasizes toughness, stoicism, acquisitiveness, and self-reliance”. As a result, this leads to the growth of emotionally stunted men.
“Most traditional beliefs carry the conception that men have to be strong in more than one aspect.” Photo courtesy of Illustration by Kathleen Brooks/The Washington Post/iStock
Omara Cardoza, Human Sexuality and Gender Studies Professor at Kean University, explains how gender roles impacted society through the lens of stereotypes and how masculinity is conveyed.
“I think if society has constantly placed themselves [men] in these gender-role categories, whether if they like flowers or not, it’s gonna be more of, what will others think if I accept these?” said Omara Cardoza
Cultural expectations and generational mindsets, also play a role within the evolution of how masculinity and femininity are defined. Almost all cultures have an archetype when it comes to identifying complementaries in men and women.
“Cultural aspects, such as machismo within Hispanic culture, reflects upon the same expectations of gender roles,” said Cardoza
According to Psychology Today, cultural differences in masculine and feminine types “often mirror the idealized archetypes elevated as moral models in different societies”, in which translates to what is deemed socially acceptable in the eyes of the culture.
“The concept of masculinity and femininity are more complex than most assume.” Photo
Illustration by J.R.D.
Effeminacy, being one of the many components, is defined as “the manifestation of traits in a boy or man that are more often associated with feminine nature”, which is seen within various cultures. As a contrast, most cultures view masculinity in women and femininity in men as unbalanced, or negative.
Cardoza explains this hegemonic phenomenon as, “toxic masculinity”, where being “affected by societal standards and having to be pressured to follow by rules,” is served as a gender order.
Although this kind of ideology still exists within our society, the current generation does not abide by the “status quo”. In 2012, an open thread posted by The Good Men Project stated that men disregard the idea of flowers but see the purpose behind the act of receiving the flowers.
“The flower can be anything, but it’s the act of receiving the flowers shows a deeper significance, so I don’t have a problem with it,” Vincent Legaspi, who is a senior with a major in Media and Film said.
“The symbolism behind flowers are normally defined through femininity.” Photo courtesy of Nancy Wong, via Creative Commons
“I think it’s up to you to define, in terms of masculinity and femininity.” Legaspi said
Another student, Dervens Celestin, a freshmen students with an intended major in Theater, describes the gift of flowers as “a symbol of love and appreciation” from one person to another.
In Cardoza’s words, it is “important for both men and women to learn about masculinity, where it came from and what we can do to not so much pressure on men to act a certain way to be liked by their peers”.
“It’s more of how can we work together as a society and focus on the similarities we carry.”
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