Listening Circle Allows a Safe Space to Discuss Issues

By Valerie Allen | Published May 3, 2023

Most people think they are good listeners, but in reality it is a skill that needs to be developed, according to Sandra Bodin-Lerner, a Kean University adjunct professor of communication.

Bodin-Lerner created and teaches COMM 38805 Communication & Listening, a study of what constitutes effective listening: why it is crucial, what makes it so difficult to achieve, and methods to develop communication competency to enhance work, academic, romantic, familial, and social relationships.

This semester she formed an impromptu Kean Listening Circle during college hour on Tuesdays to practice listening skills. It was supposed to be a monthly circle, but after the first meeting on Jan. 24, the students were so engaged that they asked for it to be held twice a month. 

“The circle is an intentional space based on mindful presence, deep listening, sharing stories, witnessing, and confidentiality,” said Bodin-Lerner.

Christopher Gbeve, 20, a psychology major, said that the Kean Listening Circle is refreshing because it allows students to express themselves in a smaller environment.

“I like having casual and heavy conversations and hearing everyone else’s opposing views without taking offense,” Gbeve said.

The topics discussed in the circles so far have included abortion, banned books, Gen Z and ethics in the workplace, to name a few.

The listening circle empowers students to listen and be heard. Students learn to become facilitators of the circle where they gain confidence to share their ideas. Students also learn how to control the need to jump in and hijack conversations.

“In the field of study in the Communication discipline, students focus on talking and not listening, said Bodin-Lerner. “The in-class listening circle taught them how to become better listeners.”

The Listening course was developed about 10 years ago when Bodin-Lerner noticed while teaching a course in Interpersonal Communication that students responded well to a single class lesson on listening.  

Bodin-Lerner said that 20 years ago, people were less immersed in electronics. “Despite the evolution of electronics, we listen to what reinforces what we want to hear and that does not humanize us today,” she said.

Bodin-Lerner has a special interest in listening. She is a member of the International Listening Association, a network of professionals committed to promoting the study and development of effective listening. Members exchange information by sharing teaching objectives, learning activities, promotional methods, and materials.

Members are also encouraged to pursue listening research as listening affects humanity on multiple levels of economics, education, race, culture, and international relations. Members pursue management strategies and efforts promoting effective listening in government and business. Bodin-Lerner served on the ILA Board for five years and has been a member for seven.

The Kean Listening Circle fosters various communication studies, including becoming a better speaker, interviewer, parent, or lover. Bodin-Lerner said one example of a poor listener was when a prominent author interviewed her for about an hour and spent more time discussing his book than asking her questions. The author later backtracked and reframed the interview.

The college hour Listening Circle began taking shape in Bodin-Lerner’s listening class in the Fall of 2022 when enthusiastic students bonded into a growing circle of listeners that went beyond the classroom.

The group discussed the objectives of the circle, such as creating a space to practice listening and being heard, developing skills to enable the facilitation of Listening Circles, and ultimately, creating a space for upcoming challenging conversations. They agreed that the Kean Listening Circle felt like a place of safety—a haven that satisfies a craving to be heard and practice listening.

Gbeve was adamant about not allowing anyone into the circle who would play devil’s advocate. He didn’t want “someone just being difficult and not considering opposing viewpoints.”  He felt that the circle’s goal is for everyone to listen to each other and not take offense for no apparent reason. 

Bodin-Lerner was excited to see her vision come to fruition.

 “I felt the energy in the space, safety, connection, and enthusiasm and relished the enlightening comments,” Bodin-Lerner said. 

The Kean Listening Circle is open to the entire Kean Community with some simple rules to follow. The circle requires confidentiality as a safe space to discuss controversial topics, and asks all to speak from the heart, listen from the heart and not rehearse their words.  

“The Listening Circle was created as an inspirational space to practice and develop listening skills,” Bodin-Lerner said. 

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