Time to get social without social media

Ask yourself the following question: How many times a day are you checking your phone for a notification while walking past a colleague who’s saying hello to you? Don’t worry, most of us are guilty of the act and yet we can’t help but to repeat the same behavior. It’s all about keeping our social lives up to date in the digital world, as well as our real world. Here’s a better question: When was the last time you were social without the use of social media?

Students at Kean University gathered for the event called “Let’s Be Social Without Social Media”on Nov. 7, to learn how to develop social and interactive skills by disconnecting from their phones for the duration of the half hour program. The attendees could not mention social media or anything in relation to their devices.

If the participants weren’t able to keep themselves from checking their phones, they would receive warnings or be required to participate in a game of truth or dare for everyone to witness.

The event was created by Erica Allen, a resident assistant (RA), who had experienced what it was like to approach her colleagues while their main focus was the digital world, rather than the real world.

Erica Allen and her participators discussing how social media plays a part in their relationships. Photo Courtesy of Tasha Dowbachuk.

“Later on, if I post something, they’ll like it and comment. So I thought to myself, we really don’t have social skills,” said Allen. “It was bothering me because it would be somebody I know yet I can’t get their attention, because their head is down and their headphones are in,” Allen continued.

The main purpose of the event was to affect others in a way that would evoke inspiration as well as motivation to be their authentic selves without the influence of social media.

“Social media is too safe,” Allen said. “Sometimes, you don’t know how people would react to you as a person because we are all so vastly different.”

According to Allen, personalizing your socialization is an effective way to start conversations with those who you may or may not know. For example, by simply embodying a welcoming demeanor, this can open many doors of conversation until you and the other individual discovers a shared interest.

One of the participators demonstrating one of the games for the upcoming activity. Photo Courtesy of Tasha Dowbachuk.

“Social media is not reality,” said Peter Mousa, a senior studying finance. “Reality is when you’re sitting in front of someone and you are holding a conversation [with them]. Behind the screen, you can think it’s the same, but its not.”

Through the activities, the attendees discussed how their relationships, friendships and their mental health were tested through the means of social media. Through their own experiences of self growth and recreated perceptions of the world, they developed an optimistic approach toward the digital world and their social lives.

“We can all come together as a community. We can build that community by putting the phone down for an hour and talking to a total stranger,” said Allen. “Its okay to be yourself and to let these guards down.”