The Tower changed my life and now I have to say goodbye!

By Valerie Sanabria | Published by April 28, 2021

 

If someone would have told me 10 years ago when I moved to the U.S. that I, who couldn’t understand not even one word of English, was going to be the editor-in-chief of an award-winning student newspaper I would have laughed.

I’m one of those super emotional but powerful women, which means I’m crying as I’m typing. I never would have thought that I could be The Tower’s editor-in-chief.

I knew I wanted to be a journalist ever since I turned nine and I was still living in Guatemala. I never abandoned that dream. I always knew it was going to be difficult but look at where I am and what I’m doing.

English is not my first language and it has been a difficult but exciting and beautiful journey.

I can easily remember the first time I wrote an article for The Tower. I was extremely nervous, and it got worse when it was returned to me with a lot of suggestions. I can also remember when I grabbed the print edition from the library and saw my article in it. I brought four copies home; I was extremely proud. My mom even took a picture of it and posted it on Facebook.

My first semester as a reporter was so complicated that I did not go back to The Tower the following semester as expected. I felt that I was not enough. I always sat away from everyone and close to the window. I wanted to write but I was scared.

When I finally decided to go back I was more mature. I knew how everything worked and what I had to do. I worked hard, and each of my stories had fewer errors. I still did not talk much to anyone, but I was trying and enjoyed it. Whenever my articles were returned I had to ask my sister to look at it first because I couldn’t bear to read that it was not good.

I was surprised when Craig Epstein, The Tower’s former editor-in-chief, asked if I wanted to be the features editor after my second semester with The Tower. I couldn’t believe it. After I processed it, I took a screenshot and sent it to my mother and sisters, my best friend and my boyfriend. I remember my mom screaming from the kitchen asking me to translate what I sent to the group chat and then hugging me after I told her, and all I asked was “Should I say ‘Yes’?”

I doubted myself a lot. I never thought that I was enough or capable.

I enjoyed my time as the features editor. I got called bossy and I sent thousands of emails in the process, but I was just doing what I knew I had to. At the end of the semester I got an email from another amazing former editor-in-chief who helped me a lot, Zoe Strozewski, who asked me if I wanted to take her role.

This time it was harder to believe. I sent screenshots again, but this time I was not sure if I could take the position. I couldn’t stop thinking that there were thousands of things I did not know that I still struggle with like trying to differentiate “in” and “on” or that before sending an email I have to show it to my sister or boyfriend to make sure I don’t have any errors. I also used to copy and paste everything into Google Translate to see if it made sense. I still do it sometimes. I was scared, and I didn’t think that I was capable.

Of course, I had to say yes but I was terrified.

My journey as the editor-in-chief this semester was short, but I loved it. I learned so much. I found ways to make friends even during the pandemic. I was able to put great issues out with the help of an amazing team.

I cannot thank enough The Towers advisors, Lois DeSocio and Pat Winters Lauro, for helping and trusting me during this entire journey. They gave me the strength I needed, and they always believed in my capabilities, even when I doubted myself.

The editors and the staff helped me a lot. Chelsey Jaipersaud always read my articles before posting them and Lenny Mata Cuevas texted me every day since I was made the features editor and we became really close in the process.

I’m sure The Tower will continue to get awards and be an excellent newspaper with the guidance of the new editor-in-chief, Cindy Lazo. She is passionate about her writing, organized and a great reporter. I’m extremely happy to be passing along the position to her.

I haven’t stopped crying yet but I know I have to. Being part of The Tower helped me become the strong, independent and powerful woman I am today. It helped me to believe that I can do anything if I work hard. I’m still the woman with an accent, but the woman who is in charge and as a feminist who feels inexplicable.

I’m scared about the future, I have always been scared but I still take risks and that is what keeps me going. Please be scared but do it and enjoy it.

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