Just Be Kind — A Veteran Teacher’s Guide to Life, Teaching, and Leading Through Tragedy

By: Chris Modeszto | Publish Date: April 24th, 2026

“Hey old timer! What’s it like being a teacher now as compared to when you began your career?” 

Great question, thanks for asking. There’s no easy answer here, but we do things not because they are easy, but because they are hard (said JFK in 1962, four years before I was born). 

Now, I would like to introduce myself. I am close to finishing the 25^th year of my career teaching high school at a central New Jersey high school, and I am closing in on the beginning of my 60th year on Earth. I obtained my bachelor’s degree from Kean University in 2001 and my master’s degree from Kean in 2008. I sat in many of the same classrooms you have, and since Kean was originally a teacher’s college and is still a school known for education, I feel my story and advice would be helpful. 

Before I get into the specifics, I would like to state that the issues we face in education are similar to those in many careers, they have always been and always will be. This is by no means meant to be a pity party about the hardships of the seasoned educator, but personal observations that are my truths. In a way, I am offering you a glimpse into your future. No charge, and no guarantees.  

In my second week of teaching, we suffered a national tragedy when very bad people flew airplanes into buildings where innocent people were employed. My students looked to me for information, or for a nugget of wisdom to help them understand. I had nothing; I still didn’t know where the faculty bathroom was. At this time, many of us (but not all of us) had phones in our possessions; they were not smartphones. They offered no information; they had no answers; just a blank screen. So, I spoke to the students (sophomores and juniors, 15–17-year-olds) as I thought they wanted to be spoken to. No lies, no theories, but as the adult in the room. Paternal in a way, and careful not to say something that may upset someone (I teach and live in a community where many people work in Manhattan). This was an important lesson for me.  

As my career continued, I began to find myself as a teacher, as one does who has been in their career for some time. And though I am not the smartest teacher in my department, nor the strongest in pedagogy (methods of teaching), nor the teacher who runs the tightest ship, I certainly found my niche. I’ve been blessed with kind students my entire career, and they have seemed to like how I teach. The way I teach is unimportant, because it’s my way of teaching. It’s no better or worse than any of my colleagues, but it’s mine. It never really felt like work really, because I get to talk about history, a subject I enjoy, and teach about it in the way I most enjoy. 

Then about 15 years ago, I began to notice students being on their phones during class. It was only a few at first, and when we asked students to put away their devices, they would; and they almost seemed apologetic about being on them. Then the COVID-19 pandemic hit, and our district made sure every student had a device and access to Wi-Fi so we could operate completely remotely. 

As many of you know because you lived through it, this is when the change in my career, and in many careers, became apparent. In a well-intentioned attempt to make sure students don’t fall behind, we did exactly the opposite. Substandard work became common, and teachers were instructed to accept it. Once the students returned to the classroom, they struggled with being in the classroom. They were so used to being held to a low standard and being on their phones, that they forgot how not to do that. And they still struggle today.  

So what does one do? I can’t say, but I can say what I did. I remembered what made me an effective teacher. Be kind. Humanize the stories, speak to the students like people rather then bark at or judge them, and remember that I would act exactly like they are if I was born a generation later.  

I mentioned earlier that seeing change over the course of a career isn’t just a teaching phenomenon, but a human phenomenon. Of course, things change; they are supposed to. Maybe we have to change a little bit along the way too in order to stay relevant, but not too much. You will run into people in your career who know all the new buzzwords and current trends, who talk of paradigm shifting (fundamental changes) and being a change maker. Listen politely to them, because some of them may be your boss one day. But don’t take their word as gospel, avoid them if you can, and just be you; it is what has gotten you this far.  

Be kind, listen to people, understand that any one of the people you have to associate with in your career may be having a much worse day than you are. Never forget that, because that will be invariably true. That is the lesson I learned as a new teacher on 9/11/01. Just be kind. Don’t be the person who yells at the waiter, or the cashier, or the person who is trying to do their job. Just be kind. It has served me very well in my 60 years on Earth and 25 in the classroom.