By: Kevin Modeszto | Published: April 1st, 2026
Recently, the Kean Concert Choir went to perform at local high schools. This is an annual tradition, and all that’s talked about after is how fun of a time it was. This was not the case this year.
The highlight of the trip came during lunch. Every student was given a sandwich, a Red Delicious apple, and a cookie. One student chose to not eat their apple and asked if anyone wanted it. Freshman Megan Costello, who the Tower has profiled before, took the apple with a smile. Then the next student handed her one, and the next, until Costello had seven apples. It was at this moment that Costello faced a dilemma.
“My bag was packed so I couldn’t put them in there,” Costello said, “and I didn’t want to carry a bag of seven apples on the train, so I had to eat as many apples as I possibly could in the thirty minute bus ride.”
And eat apples she did. As profiled on her Instagram story, Costello managed to eat all seven apples on that bus ride. Friends and classmates described her as a “horse” and “a walking math problem” because of this endeavor.
When Costello returned to Kean and walked into Wilkins Theatre, a music professor who has chosen to remain nameless tried to ask her about the trip, but was physically pushed away. Not by Costello, but seemingly by gravity. Another professor tried the same, with similar results.
“I’ve never seen anything like this before,” the second anonymous professor said, “I try to maintain positive relationships with all my students to varied success, but I’ve never been physically pushed away before.”
But they were not pushed away by Costello herself. The professor asked other students what happened, who only reported a great day of singing and a running joke about apples. Then, they put two and two together: Both professors had their doctorates.
It is a famous myth that an apple a day keeps the doctor away. The influx of apples in Costello’s stomach must have physically pushed not only medical doctors, but anyone with the title of doctor, away.
The professor knew something had to be done, so they called a meeting of every Kean professor with a doctorate. These brilliant minds came together and suggested several ideas, from putting Costello in a bubble to changing her schedule outright and hiring bodyguards to keep her away from anyone with the title of doctor to simply letting nature take its course and waiting for the apples to cycle out of her system. But it ended up being Tower’s very own advisor, Dr. Vamsi Chaitanya, who pitched the final solution.
“Someone who eats seven apples in a day will certainly keep a doctor away,” he concluded, “but would be in desperate need of a dentist.”
So, at least until Costello gives up eating apples, every Kean professor must replace the title of doctor with dentist.
“It’s not ideal,” Dentist Vamsi Chaitanya said to the Tower, “but anything to allow a student to continue her education.”
And as for the still very full Costello, who doesn’t even particularly like Red Delicious apples, she says that this whole endeavor has been the highlight of her college years.
“I wanted to come here and inspire change,” Costello said, “I didn’t quite expect it to be a change in how we refer to professors, but change is change.”
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